Under My Umbrella

I've been feeling pretty miserable lately. And I can't seem to pour it out verbally, and maybe writing it is the only way. You know how people usually blurted jokes about you and then you laughed along with them showing that you were okay but deep inside you weren't? Well, maybe I was a coward for not saying directly to those people that those jokes hurt me very much I thought about them for weeks.

I was never paying attention to that part of me before because no one has ever joked about me that way. I was very self conscious about it until now. And I don't know what to do. They kept bringing it up without me being able to say "Stop! I don't like to be treated this way!"

And maybe I'm such a two-faced beeotch that I keep putting up these smiles that is so different from what I've been feeling inside. I don't know what to do. Never been feeling so helpless before.

The only thing that keeps me going is to reminisce about those happy moments when I felt happy just being me, not being judged directly, and not being "bullied".

Contrary to what I've posted about positivity before, it's my negative moment. Trying to see the rainbow after the rain now.

Ciao.

P.S. Will post the complete set of the pictures above soon! :)