Change

Change is essential for the better. I'm not ready for that change. Or maybe I am, but it doesn't suit me very well. How am I supposed to love the situation where I am right now if I don't feel secure, and liked, and happy? And maybe it's not about security, likeness, and happiness that is the most important in a change--because obviously, the change itself is--but they are all the parts that makes the change worth the fight. Maybe, another maybe, it's just the beginning where I feel I want to go back to my old life, and having fun there, and if I can I don't have to go through all this, but then again, it's all about uncertainties.

It's uncertainties that makes the change so hard to be crossed. It is like I'm a baby all over again, trying to swim in a 4-meters-depth-pool. Okay I'm exaggerating and trying to be poetic (yuck!), as a teenager myself I'm still afraid to swim in a 4-meters-depth-pool.

 

GAP shirt, zara sweater and coats, AIIZ shorts, unbranded tights, steve madden flats, mom's chanel on the first pic and cousin's mulberry on the last pic

Back to topic; I want to go back to my old life. YET, I want to move on and try different things. Even though I don't feel secure. Even though I don't feel that I'm not liked. Even though I'm not happy. At the moment. But I believe, this all someday will pass, for a better, brighter future. And on that day, I will feel safe inside and out, loved, and of course, joyful.

So, if you are on the same page as me, just be tough and strive for whatever you've come here for, for all it will be alright in the end. Heard of the saying "It will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, It's not the end"? So, yeah.

Ciao.
P.S.: It's my 100th post! I know it's not a lot amount of posts compared to other inspiring bloggers...but well yeah, it's quite a big number ;)